Carla Y. Nix

Walking In My Purpose

Emotional Aspect of Diabetes

Posted by hashiki on November 30, 2008

“This is worse if you are a type 2 diabetic who is not taking insulin injections. The concept out there appears to be that this type of diabetes is nothing much, just loose a little weight, get off the couch, swill a few pills and everything is dandy.”

That is a quote from an online article I read concerning the emotional issues that face diabetics.  I actually searched to read more on the subject because this is just one of those, yet again, when I am personally feeling tired (emotionally) and dismayed in regards to my Type 2 diabetes.  Actually, I thought about this the other day, but today it is really bearing down on me.

I’m tired!  Plain and simple, I’m tired.  Living w/diabetes consumes you in every way.  I have gotten to the point where I’m tired of everything about it and I often wonder, why can’t I just be “normal”.  I’m sick of having to think on a constant and consistent basis about everything that will affect me.  If I’m stressed, my sugar level rises.  I can’t be stressed like a “normal stressed” person (ummm……I’m realizing now that this sounds crazy, but hey, it’s my reality!).  If I don’t feel like eating, I can’t get away with that because then my blood sugar drops.  If I’m busy and don’t want to stop to eat, I must, or I’ll be sorry.  If I’m not careful before going to bed, I may awaken with a very low reading, or a very high one.  If I want to eat a morsel of anything sweet, it will affect me. 

I feel like a yo-yo, or like someone on a rollercoaster.  Up and down, back and forth, round and round!  Every single thing in life affects the diabetes.

I had another low blood sugar episode today, while in church!  Jerry was on program at another church earlier this morning at 9 am.  I ate breakfast at about 7:30 am.  Of course I had to take my medication because if I didn’t, then my sugar level would’ve risen too high.  Well, we left the first church around 12:00 noon.  That meant 5 hours since I’d last eaten.  My body let me know it.  While at the 2nd service, which was our home church, I had the low sugar episode.  Got hot, started sweating, got very weak, shaking, and was about the reach a point of confusion.  The congregation was standing as the Word was being read.  I had to quickly sit down because I knew that if I didn’t, I would pass out.  At least, that’s how I felt.  All I could do was fan myself and I dug in my purse.  I had a small pack of crackers in there, and though I know that I should not be sitting in the sanctuary eating, I knew that I had to.  I began to nibble on the crackers.  I didn’t have hard candy, which I know would’ve quickly raised my sugar level.  The crackers worked, although they took a long time to take affect.

It’s a terrible feeling.  You feel as though you are dying.  Slipping away.  Leaving your body.  And once you come around, you feel as though your body had been through a fight.  A struggle.

I’m just tired of it. 

When I got home, I tested my blood.  By then, the reading was 85.  Good, but on a low side.  This lets me know that the reading was much lower when I had the episode.  Which reminds me.  I am sick and tired of sticking my fingers and testing and monitoring my blood.  I understand why I have to do it, but i’m still tired of it.  It all takes its toll on you.

I just want to be normal.  No one’s every waking moment should be about food.  That’s how it is with diabetes.  You HAVE to be mindful and careful about everything.  You have to be prepared.  You have to think about every single thing you eat AND drink.

I do apologize for complaining so.  Guess I just needed to vent.  Although I’m tired, and still learning how to deal with the emotional aspect of diabetes, I know that I should and must take care of myself.  I am indeed thankful to be alive and well, in spite of the diabetes. 

Carla Y. Nix

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One Response to “Emotional Aspect of Diabetes”

  1. I know what you mean…I am one too and it is not easy but my sister know that God will guide you. I still fight it and with my thryoid issues, Lupus issues all on top of it – it gets to be overbearing but you know what – cry out to the Lord…let it loose and then go right back to doing it.

    I say this because my mom died because she did not do what she was suppossed to do. She was only 57 years old and we truly miss her…she did not do what she was to do and her body started failing her. A dear friend of mine died two years after her for the same reason…it is not an easy walk because it is altering your entire lifestyle BUT it is so worth it when we do.

    We are fighting things every day and it is just the enemy trying to get you to fall down and get fustrated. The Lord showed mercy on my mom by ending her pain – her liver failed on her, her kidneys gave out, her lungs were bad and her heart was failing…all because she did not take care of herself.

    I urge you my sister to keep trying and keep moving forward with it. Just know it is going to be the battle of your life…trust me I know because that is where I am…I have been falling down a lot with doing what I am suppossed to do and now I am paying the price. We can do this together my sister – we really can!!!

    I will keep you in prayer and I know that you can do this in Jesus as He is the one that is going to get us both through it! AMEN!!

    Love ya!!

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