Carla Y. Nix

Walking In My Purpose

Archive for November, 2008

Emotional Aspect of Diabetes

Posted by hashiki on November 30, 2008

“This is worse if you are a type 2 diabetic who is not taking insulin injections. The concept out there appears to be that this type of diabetes is nothing much, just loose a little weight, get off the couch, swill a few pills and everything is dandy.”

That is a quote from an online article I read concerning the emotional issues that face diabetics.  I actually searched to read more on the subject because this is just one of those, yet again, when I am personally feeling tired (emotionally) and dismayed in regards to my Type 2 diabetes.  Actually, I thought about this the other day, but today it is really bearing down on me.

I’m tired!  Plain and simple, I’m tired.  Living w/diabetes consumes you in every way.  I have gotten to the point where I’m tired of everything about it and I often wonder, why can’t I just be “normal”.  I’m sick of having to think on a constant and consistent basis about everything that will affect me.  If I’m stressed, my sugar level rises.  I can’t be stressed like a “normal stressed” person (ummm……I’m realizing now that this sounds crazy, but hey, it’s my reality!).  If I don’t feel like eating, I can’t get away with that because then my blood sugar drops.  If I’m busy and don’t want to stop to eat, I must, or I’ll be sorry.  If I’m not careful before going to bed, I may awaken with a very low reading, or a very high one.  If I want to eat a morsel of anything sweet, it will affect me. 

I feel like a yo-yo, or like someone on a rollercoaster.  Up and down, back and forth, round and round!  Every single thing in life affects the diabetes.

I had another low blood sugar episode today, while in church!  Jerry was on program at another church earlier this morning at 9 am.  I ate breakfast at about 7:30 am.  Of course I had to take my medication because if I didn’t, then my sugar level would’ve risen too high.  Well, we left the first church around 12:00 noon.  That meant 5 hours since I’d last eaten.  My body let me know it.  While at the 2nd service, which was our home church, I had the low sugar episode.  Got hot, started sweating, got very weak, shaking, and was about the reach a point of confusion.  The congregation was standing as the Word was being read.  I had to quickly sit down because I knew that if I didn’t, I would pass out.  At least, that’s how I felt.  All I could do was fan myself and I dug in my purse.  I had a small pack of crackers in there, and though I know that I should not be sitting in the sanctuary eating, I knew that I had to.  I began to nibble on the crackers.  I didn’t have hard candy, which I know would’ve quickly raised my sugar level.  The crackers worked, although they took a long time to take affect.

It’s a terrible feeling.  You feel as though you are dying.  Slipping away.  Leaving your body.  And once you come around, you feel as though your body had been through a fight.  A struggle.

I’m just tired of it. 

When I got home, I tested my blood.  By then, the reading was 85.  Good, but on a low side.  This lets me know that the reading was much lower when I had the episode.  Which reminds me.  I am sick and tired of sticking my fingers and testing and monitoring my blood.  I understand why I have to do it, but i’m still tired of it.  It all takes its toll on you.

I just want to be normal.  No one’s every waking moment should be about food.  That’s how it is with diabetes.  You HAVE to be mindful and careful about everything.  You have to be prepared.  You have to think about every single thing you eat AND drink.

I do apologize for complaining so.  Guess I just needed to vent.  Although I’m tired, and still learning how to deal with the emotional aspect of diabetes, I know that I should and must take care of myself.  I am indeed thankful to be alive and well, in spite of the diabetes. 

Carla Y. Nix

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It’s Not About Me

Posted by hashiki on November 30, 2008

We are all called by God for His purpose.  There are three (3) levels of our overall calling:

1.  We are called to Salvation

2.  We are called to Preparation

3.  We are called to Service

In that order!  We all have a work to do.  But not just any work.  Not even our own work.  But God’s work.  And He calls us in the above order for us to accomplish this work.

We say it all of the time.  I know that I do…………..”It’s not about me”.  And for me, I mean that.  But, it has now taken on a new complexity for me.  A higher level of dimension.  A stronger meaning!

My prayer has long, and even up to recently, been “Lord, help me to do my work.  Help me to do all of this work.  Help me to do my life assignments.”  And I meant those words sincerely.  But, now I realize that my prayer has to change to, and mean, “Lord, help me to do YOUR work.”

Once we accept salvation, we must then go into the ongoing phase of preparation before we can adequately serve.  Way too often, we are eager to serve, but we are reluctant about accepting the preparation period.  It can’t work like that.

When God calls us, He does so with the end in mind.  He knows the outcome.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

The KJV of that verse also states that He knows His thoughts towards us with an “expected end”.  He knows the outcome.  Therefore, when He calls us to do something, He knows that we can do it.  He knows this simply because He is God, but also because He equips us.  He has set up and ordained our PREPARATION. 

That is what ANOINTING is.  Some think that, as in Old Testament times, it is something that is only bestowed upon certain people (i.e., Kings, Prophets).  See, they were set apart and distinguished from others to do God’s work.  But, that was under the dispensation of the Law…….we are now under Grace, and God anoints His children.

Your anointing is what enables you to perform the work of God.  Unfortunately, that anointing isn’t always apparent or visible because we don’t allow God to fully work through us.  We want to work and act on our own, and then ask God to follow us and help us.

If we subject and submit ourselves to His anointing, it would be blaringly clear to all.  We have to allow ourselves to receive the preparation that is necessary to make us successful in His service.  Too often, we want the title, but we don’t want to do the work that is necessary to deserve it. 

Preparation is not always easy.  It hurts sometimes.  I can always go back to the very true analogy of a woman giving birth.  A couple of weeks ago, I heard Joyce Meyer speak of a very “smart, intelligent, well-learned, highly educated, and successful” lady that she knew.  She said that when the woman became pregnant with her first child (and it was probably her last), she would share with Joyce her fears.  She would say that she was so afraid that the labor and childbirth would hurt.  Joyce told her, “Let me relieve your fears.  It will!”  She told her that she didn’t have to carry that fear anymore……….oh, not the fear of the pain of labor …. but the fear of thinking that it would indeed hurt!

Labor is the body’s way of preparation for childbirth.  Yes, it hurts!  Don’t let anyone fool you……it hurts!  But, look at the beautiful result of all of that pain.  We soon forget the pain and begin to rejoice over the birth of our blessing.

Preparation……..often hurts!  It gets us ready, fit, and certified to do the work that God has called us to.

We can take comfort in God’s words to Jeremiah.  He knows us.  He took the intimate act of forming us.  He made us.  He has given us what we need.  We don’t have to be afraid.  We should go forth and do what He has for us to do.

This is our purpose.  To fulfill God’s purpose for our lives!

Blessings!

Carla

 

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STIR UP THE GIFT!

Posted by hashiki on November 29, 2008

“A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.” Proverbs 18:16 KJV

“If you are intelligent but are not exercising your gift, you’re probably going to be poor. If you’re educated but have not developed your talent, you’re likely going to be depressed, frustrated, and tired.” ~ Dr. Myles Monroe

I can remember as far back as 28 years ago, my pastor would often say to me, “Your gift will make room for you.” At that young age of 17, I did not know what gift he was talking about (I didn’t know what my gift was), nor did I know how it would make room for me. All in all, I had absolutely no idea what Pastor Washington was talking about.

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‘Fore Day In The Morning

Posted by hashiki on November 26, 2008

Do you know what ‘fore day in the morning is?  It simply means BEFORE day break.  My mother used to say that term quite often.

  • “Why are y’all up ‘fore day in the morning?”
  • “We’re leaving ‘fore day in the morning.”
  • “Quiet as ‘fore day in the morning.”

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NO REGRETS

Posted by hashiki on November 25, 2008

Yesterday, Jerry and I went to the hospital to visit a dear and close friend of his family.  I do ask everyone who’s reading to keep the Jones family in your prayers as their mother is pretty ill right now.  She is in ICU and is non-responsive, battling a number of issues.  Although she didn’t know that we were there, we stood with one of her sons and prayed.  The family does need God’s strength.  It is not easy watching your mother (or grandmother, & great-grandmother in this case) being so ill.

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MAMA, I MADE A NEW FRIEND TODAY!

Posted by hashiki on November 22, 2008

I had the most delightful conversation with someone today.  She is one of my classmates from the seminary.  We have clicked well since we first met last year at the school, but today was the first time we had a real good (and long) phone conversation.  We have a lot in common and it was really nice to just make that connection.

We both realized and admitted that we are like strangers here in Mississippi.  Or, “outsiders”, as I noted.  She understood completely.  She’s been here for 10 years and she is still trying to find her niche, she said.  As I stated in my last blog, “Are We There Yet“, so am I, after being here for three years now since Katrina.  We are both still trying to adjust to this new way of life.

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ARE WE THERE YET?

Posted by hashiki on November 14, 2008

Growing up, my family traveled quite a bit because my father was in the Navy.  Whenever we were stationed to a new location, we always drove.  I remember our longest trip being cross country – from California to Virginia.  We stopped along the way in Louisiana, where all of my parents’ family lived.  New Orleans, to be exact.

In between the relocations, we often drove back “home” for visits.  New Orleans was always home for us. No matter where else we lived in this country, we knew where home was. Read the rest of this entry »

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LOVING LIFE

Posted by hashiki on November 8, 2008

I’m just reflecting tonight and thanking God for life.  There is so much to be thankful for.  Why is it then so much easier for us to complain and whine about things than it is to simply give thanks? 

My life over the last year has been quite interesting.  Different.  Up and down.  Unpredictable.  It was last year that God spoke to my spirit.  It was probably around this time last year that He spoke these words to me, “Next year you are going to have to use your faith like never before!”  I sort of mused & my response was that I do use my faith.  I use my faith now.  But, God’s word said to me “like never before!”  That should’ve been a big clue for me.  I admit that I didn’t understand it then, but trust me, today I do!

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NEW WORLD

Posted by hashiki on November 5, 2008

Last month, I shared my strong and impassioned thoughts on the negative campaigning that erupted from the McCain / GOP camp.  My feelings remain the same this day, the day after a historical victory – the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States.

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IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME COMIN’

Posted by hashiki on November 5, 2008

obama-and-family-copy

 

Congratulations to our President Elect Barack Obama!

This indeed a very historical night, and I thank God for allowing me to live to see this day!  I am so excited about this victory.  It means so much to me, as well as to so many others.  It means the world to our nation. 

President Elect Obama won by a landslide tonight.  This is very telling.  America is FINALLY ready for change, and ready to open its self up to the potential that is present in all of us.

Tonight, America showed that ALL children, all people, can do and be whatever they want to do or be.  Some areas are not just reserved for White Americans.  Tonight, Barack Obama proved this.

I have been crying all night.  I’ve cried so hard, and uncontrollably.  I am so happy to see this.  It has really happened!  The reality hit me so hard and it was overwhelming.  I screamed, I shouted, and I cried deep from the heart in praise and gratitude to God.

Yes, it’s been a long time coming.  Now, the real work begins.  We have to stick together and work together to assure that we do right by all of those who fought long and hard to make this possible!

Yes, we can!

Blessings,

Carla

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