Emotional Aspect of Diabetes

“This is worse if you are a type 2 diabetic who is not taking insulin injections. The concept out there appears to be that this type of diabetes is nothing much, just loose a little weight, get off the couch, swill a few pills and everything is dandy.”

That is a quote from an online article I read concerning the emotional issues that face diabetics.  I actually searched to read more on the subject because this is just one of those, yet again, when I am personally feeling tired (emotionally) and dismayed in regards to my Type 2 diabetes.  Actually, I thought about this the other day, but today it is really bearing down on me.

I’m tired!  Plain and simple, I’m tired.  Living w/diabetes consumes you in every way.  I have gotten to the point where I’m tired of everything about it and I often wonder, why can’t I just be “normal”.  I’m sick of having to think on a constant and consistent basis about everything that will affect me.  If I’m stressed, my sugar level rises.  I can’t be stressed like a “normal stressed” person (ummm……I’m realizing now that this sounds crazy, but hey, it’s my reality!).  If I don’t feel like eating, I can’t get away with that because then my blood sugar drops.  If I’m busy and don’t want to stop to eat, I must, or I’ll be sorry.  If I’m not careful before going to bed, I may awaken with a very low reading, or a very high one.  If I want to eat a morsel of anything sweet, it will affect me. 

I feel like a yo-yo, or like someone on a rollercoaster.  Up and down, back and forth, round and round!  Every single thing in life affects the diabetes.

I had another low blood sugar episode today, while in church!  Jerry was on program at another church earlier this morning at 9 am.  I ate breakfast at about 7:30 am.  Of course I had to take my medication because if I didn’t, then my sugar level would’ve risen too high.  Well, we left the first church around 12:00 noon.  That meant 5 hours since I’d last eaten.  My body let me know it.  While at the 2nd service, which was our home church, I had the low sugar episode.  Got hot, started sweating, got very weak, shaking, and was about the reach a point of confusion.  The congregation was standing as the Word was being read.  I had to quickly sit down because I knew that if I didn’t, I would pass out.  At least, that’s how I felt.  All I could do was fan myself and I dug in my purse.  I had a small pack of crackers in there, and though I know that I should not be sitting in the sanctuary eating, I knew that I had to.  I began to nibble on the crackers.  I didn’t have hard candy, which I know would’ve quickly raised my sugar level.  The crackers worked, although they took a long time to take affect.

It’s a terrible feeling.  You feel as though you are dying.  Slipping away.  Leaving your body.  And once you come around, you feel as though your body had been through a fight.  A struggle.

I’m just tired of it. 

When I got home, I tested my blood.  By then, the reading was 85.  Good, but on a low side.  This lets me know that the reading was much lower when I had the episode.  Which reminds me.  I am sick and tired of sticking my fingers and testing and monitoring my blood.  I understand why I have to do it, but i’m still tired of it.  It all takes its toll on you.

I just want to be normal.  No one’s every waking moment should be about food.  That’s how it is with diabetes.  You HAVE to be mindful and careful about everything.  You have to be prepared.  You have to think about every single thing you eat AND drink.

I do apologize for complaining so.  Guess I just needed to vent.  Although I’m tired, and still learning how to deal with the emotional aspect of diabetes, I know that I should and must take care of myself.  I am indeed thankful to be alive and well, in spite of the diabetes. 

Carla Y. Nix

It’s Not About Me

We are all called by God for His purpose.  There are three (3) levels of our overall calling:

1.  We are called to Salvation

2.  We are called to Preparation

3.  We are called to Service

In that order!  We all have a work to do.  But not just any work.  Not even our own work.  But God’s work.  And He calls us in the above order for us to accomplish this work.

We say it all of the time.  I know that I do…………..”It’s not about me”.  And for me, I mean that.  But, it has now taken on a new complexity for me.  A higher level of dimension.  A stronger meaning!

My prayer has long, and even up to recently, been “Lord, help me to do my work.  Help me to do all of this work.  Help me to do my life assignments.”  And I meant those words sincerely.  But, now I realize that my prayer has to change to, and mean, “Lord, help me to do YOUR work.”

Once we accept salvation, we must then go into the ongoing phase of preparation before we can adequately serve.  Way too often, we are eager to serve, but we are reluctant about accepting the preparation period.  It can’t work like that.

When God calls us, He does so with the end in mind.  He knows the outcome.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

The KJV of that verse also states that He knows His thoughts towards us with an “expected end”.  He knows the outcome.  Therefore, when He calls us to do something, He knows that we can do it.  He knows this simply because He is God, but also because He equips us.  He has set up and ordained our PREPARATION. 

That is what ANOINTING is.  Some think that, as in Old Testament times, it is something that is only bestowed upon certain people (i.e., Kings, Prophets).  See, they were set apart and distinguished from others to do God’s work.  But, that was under the dispensation of the Law…….we are now under Grace, and God anoints His children.

Your anointing is what enables you to perform the work of God.  Unfortunately, that anointing isn’t always apparent or visible because we don’t allow God to fully work through us.  We want to work and act on our own, and then ask God to follow us and help us.

If we subject and submit ourselves to His anointing, it would be blaringly clear to all.  We have to allow ourselves to receive the preparation that is necessary to make us successful in His service.  Too often, we want the title, but we don’t want to do the work that is necessary to deserve it. 

Preparation is not always easy.  It hurts sometimes.  I can always go back to the very true analogy of a woman giving birth.  A couple of weeks ago, I heard Joyce Meyer speak of a very “smart, intelligent, well-learned, highly educated, and successful” lady that she knew.  She said that when the woman became pregnant with her first child (and it was probably her last), she would share with Joyce her fears.  She would say that she was so afraid that the labor and childbirth would hurt.  Joyce told her, “Let me relieve your fears.  It will!”  She told her that she didn’t have to carry that fear anymore……….oh, not the fear of the pain of labor …. but the fear of thinking that it would indeed hurt!

Labor is the body’s way of preparation for childbirth.  Yes, it hurts!  Don’t let anyone fool you……it hurts!  But, look at the beautiful result of all of that pain.  We soon forget the pain and begin to rejoice over the birth of our blessing.

Preparation……..often hurts!  It gets us ready, fit, and certified to do the work that God has called us to.

We can take comfort in God’s words to Jeremiah.  He knows us.  He took the intimate act of forming us.  He made us.  He has given us what we need.  We don’t have to be afraid.  We should go forth and do what He has for us to do.

This is our purpose.  To fulfill God’s purpose for our lives!

Blessings!

Carla